*Fourth Of July (revisited)*

when the fireworks finally start, they are like far away flowers -
interesting in the same way as the tv across the street. after
half an hour i forget that my back hurts and i also forget that
i'm really scared of heights. forgetting something that important
is bad. eventually i get up from the rock that i clung to when
my fear of heights overcame me and i shuffle-climb up to where
my friends are. it's dark by now, so i'm less afraid. dumb
animal response, this. i guess that if i can't see how steep
the mountain is, it dosen't bother me. there are six places i
can see shooting fireworks, but i'd rather watch down in the
streets where people are walking, patrol cars are prowling and
things i can't see are happening. this is my life: to never be
comfortable where other people are comfortable, and to never be
interested in the main attraction... when the show is over, we
climb back down and my fear is all gone. i feel much less tired,
but i notice the litter on the trail and that offends me, so
i picked it up. life is pretty good.

Munk saturday 1995 11.22pm